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eventually, the wonderful volunteers with the teaneck volunteer ambulance corps calmed me and took me home, while the beast screamed under my skin. and i knew i had a serious problem. the next days, weeks, and months taught me things about human beings that i had never known. that we are, truly, animals
i swallowed enough pills to stun an ox, and i broke down sobbing in the airport, and i almost turned and ran off the jetway, and when the aisle was blocked by people, i was afraid the beast would appear, but it didn't. i got off the plane in st. louis and cried, and only partly because i was stoned....
https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/defeating-the-beast-i-didnt-know-dwelled-within/